Rename My Mutt!

I love breeding Simmy mutt puppies. You never know what you're going to get!

The problem with that, however, is that Maxis got lazy with the puppies and kittens in The Sims 2: Pets. All the puppies look like the exact same Mini-Schnauser-like dog, monochromed either all-black or all-white. You don't get any idea what your dog's going to actually look like until he or she reaches adulthood. And yet the game makes you choose the dog's name the moment it's born or bought from the adoption center! What if I want to choose a name based on the dog's appearance, which I won't know for certain until later?

And so this problem hit me in the face yesterday. I made two of Jolene Lupina's dogs try for a puppy. They ended up giving Jolene three puppies — one stud and two bitches, to use the traditional (albeit colloquially maligned) terminology — and all three puppies started off as the same perfectly pitch-black micro-Mini Schnausers. So, respectively, I named them Beastgor (because why not?), Muttsie (because she's a mutt) and Negra (that word being Spanish for the feminine form of "black," or, roughly meaning, "female black thing," because as a puppy she was 100% black, just like her siblings).

So then the puppies grew up, and Negra wasn't so black anymore.



Personality Stuff:


The Whole Dog:


Dad:

(Yes, that's Webster. Jolene took him in, and it wasn't too hard because werewolves are friggin' supreme when it comes to befriending dogs and wolves. But I swear to Zeus, I am never, ever breeding Webster again because Kerry Blue Terriers are some ugly dogs. Whether Simmy or real, that entire breed looks like they were all cloned from Satan's pubic hairs! Or maybe Webster's a Giant Schnauzer. Either way, Webster is still an ugly, Brillo-Pad-like dog with this weird combination of beefy forelegs and scrawny hindlegs. But he's not without his charms, so I can't really hate him or wish him ill or anything. He's like the ugly best friend that you keep around because A) you don't want to be a shallow prick by tossing him out like yesterday's scrambled eggs, B) standing next to him/her makes you look dead sexy by comparison, or C) you actually enjoy his/her company for whatever reason, physical appearances be damned.)

Mom:

No illustrious history to this one; Jolene bought her over the phone when she was a puppy. Her name's Cha-Cha. She's a pretty dog, and she kind of looks like an Australian Shepherd, or maybe a Border Collie with floppy ears. That's pretty much all there is to her.

So now I feel strongly compelled to have Jolene pick up the phone, call the Pet Registry and give this goofy-looking, tank-looking, Brillo-pad-looking bitch a new name.

The soon-to-be Dog Formerly Known as Negra hasn't really done anything noteworthy; she hasn't run all over the house like a ricocheting bullet, she hasn't tried to destroy Jolene's 5,000-Simoleon treasure chest (unlike two of those dogs in her care), she hasn't stolen any plates of food that Jolene and her guests have accidentally set on the floor like nitwits...she mostly just eats, goes to work, comes home, and sleeps. She jumped out of the tub while Jolene was giving her a bath one time, but that's about it.

So with all that in consideration, I am ready to be hit with suggestions. What should I rename this weird, lazy female mutt-dog who looks like a chimera formed from a pair of Audrey Hepburn's armpit-length white gloves, the Phantom of the Opera's half-mask and a hundred pounds of steel wool? Sock it to me.